Redefining What We Value As ‘Enough’
Jennifer Breheny Wallace’s Never Enough: When Achievement Culture Becomes Toxic—and What We Can Do About It is a compassionate and deeply practical guide for anyone struggling under the relentless pressure to succeed. It’s not just a critique of today’s achievement-obsessed culture but a roadmap to help readers reclaim balance, self-worth, and joy in their lives.
About the Author
Jennifer Breheny Wallace is an accomplished journalist with a talent for tackling big societal issues in relatable ways. Her writing often focuses on the intersection of culture and well-being, with articles featured in The Washington Post and The Wall Street Journal. In Never Enough, she blends research, real-life stories, and actionable advice to show how toxic achievement culture takes root—and what we can do to protect ourselves and our loved ones from its grip.
What Makes This Book So Helpful?
Wallace’s writing speaks to anyone caught in the cycle of perfectionism, whether they’re parents, professionals, students, or educators. She explores how the constant drive to “do more, achieve more, and be more” impacts our mental health and relationships.
This book is particularly helpful for:
Parents: Looking for ways to support their kids without adding pressure.
Professionals: Feeling stuck in a cycle of overwork and burnout.
Students and Young Adults: Struggling with self-esteem tied to grades, awards, or social media comparisons.
Key Areas the Book Covers
The Pressure to Achieve and Its Impact: Wallace explains how tying self-worth to external successes—like grades, promotions, or appearances—leads to chronic stress, anxiety, and dissatisfaction.
Parenting in an Achievement-Driven World: Parents often feel pressure to push their kids toward excellence, but Wallace shows how this can backfire, leading to burnout and disconnection.
Breaking Free from Burnout: The book offers strategies for resetting boundaries and rethinking priorities to create a healthier balance in life.
Wallace’s advice is grounded in research and illustrated through relatable stories of real people who’ve struggled with achievement culture. Some of the most impactful examples include:
The Parent Who Created a “Room of Belonging”
Wallace shares the story of a mother who noticed her child withdrawing under the pressure of constant academic reminders. Instead of focusing on grades, the parent emphasized the importance of family connection, like sharing meals and playing board games together. Over time, the child began to feel valued for who they were rather than what they accomplished, leading to better mental health—and ironically, improved academic performance.
The Teen Who Learned to Say “Good Enough”
A high schooler, overwhelmed by the need to excel in every subject, adopted Wallace’s strategy of focusing on effort rather than perfection. By learning to prioritize her well-being and limit overcommitting, she was able to achieve balance and rediscover her love for learning.
The Professional Who Set Non-Negotiable Boundaries
Wallace details the story of a corporate executive who was on the brink of burnout, working 12-hour days and missing important family moments. Inspired by the book’s advice, he established “non-negotiables,” like leaving the office at 5:30 p.m. to have dinner with his kids. This change didn’t just improve his family life—it also boosted his work productivity by helping him approach tasks with a clearer mind.
Using Gratitude to Reframe Success
In another example, Wallace highlights a professional athlete who struggled with self-worth after retirement. By keeping a gratitude journal focused on non-achievement-based joys—like time spent with friends or the beauty of nature—he was able to redefine what made his life meaningful.
Key Suggestions from the Book
Wallace provides actionable strategies for combatting the effects of toxic achievement culture, including:
Redefining Success: Focus on intrinsic values, like growth, creativity, and relationships, rather than external accolades.
Setting Healthy Boundaries: Protect your time and energy by learning to say no to obligations that don’t align with your priorities.
Building Emotional Resilience: Teach children (and yourself) that failure is part of learning, not something to fear.
Practicing Gratitude: Regularly reflecting on what you’re thankful for can help shift focus away from what’s missing.
Prioritizing Connection Over Accomplishments: Wallace emphasizes the importance of fostering genuine relationships over chasing accolades.
Why This Matters - My Thoughts
In a society that often glorifies busyness and perfection, Never Enough is a refreshing reminder that we are so much more than our achievements. Wallace’s deeply researched yet relatable approach makes the book an invaluable resource for anyone struggling with the demands of today’s culture.
Whether you’re a parent trying to support your child, a professional redefining your work-life balance, or an individual searching for a healthier way to live, Never Enough offers a roadmap to help you thrive without losing yourself in the process.
