Protecting Your Peace

Have you ever said "yes" to something when every fiber of your being wanted to say "no"? Maybe you’ve found yourself feeling resentful after constantly being the go-to person for favors, emotional support, or last-minute plans. If so, you’re not alone. Boundaries are those invisible lines that separate you from everyone else that can be tricky to navigate, especially if you were raised to put others first.

Anne Katherine’s book, Boundaries: Where You End and I Begin, is the book you didn’t know you needed. It’s like a warm, wise friend gently reminding you that your time, energy, and emotions belong to you, and that it’s okay (actually, necessary) to protect them.

WHO IS ANNE KATHERINE?

Anne Katherine, M.A., is a psychotherapist who has spent decades helping people build healthier relationships starting with the one they have with themselves. She writes with a mix of professional expertise and deep understanding, making this book feel less like a lecture and more like a conversation with someone who gets it.

She doesn’t just lay out cold, hard facts. She shares relatable stories, practical steps, and heartfelt encouragement to help you recognize where your boundaries might be weak, and how to strengthen them in a way that feels empowering, not scary.

WHY ARE BOUNDARIES SO HARD TO SET?

If you’ve ever felt guilty for saying no, that’s not an accident. Many of us were raised to be helpful, accommodating, and kind; which are all wonderful qualities. But when being "nice" means constantly putting ourselves last, it can leave us feeling exhausted, overwhelmed, and even resentful.

Katherine explains that boundaries are not about shutting people out. They’re about protecting your mental, emotional, and even physical well-being so you can show up as your best self in relationships, friendships, and work.

She describes boundaries as “a limit or edge that defines you as separate from others.” In other words, boundaries are the invisible lines that say:

This is okay for me. That is not.

I will support you, but I won’t take responsibility for your emotions.

I deserve to be treated with respect, just like you do.

SIGNS THAT YOUR BOUNDARIES MIGHT BE TOO WEAK

Katherine gives real-life examples that might hit close to home:

A friend shares something private you told them, and you let it slide because you don’t want to make a big deal out of it.

Your boss keeps asking you to stay late, even though it’s affecting your personal life.

A family member expects you to drop everything the moment they need help, regardless of your own needs.

If any of these sound familiar, you’re not alone. So many of us have been trained to ignore the little voice inside that says, This doesn’t feel right. But as Katherine points out, that discomfort is a warning sign. It’s your body’s way of telling you a boundary is being crossed.

HOW TO START SETTING BOUNDARIES

This book isn’t just about recognizing boundary violations, it’s about fixing them. And don’t worry, Katherine doesn’t just tell you to “be more assertive” and leave you hanging. She gives practical, doable steps to help you build boundaries without feeling like a villain.

1. LISTEN TO YOURSELF

Before you can set boundaries, you have to recognize what feels okay and what doesn’t. Start paying attention to moments when you feel drained, resentful, or uncomfortable. These are often signs that a boundary needs to be set.

2. PRACTICE SAYING NO WITHOUT SAYING SORRY

One of Katherine’s biggest tips? Stop over-explaining. Saying "no" is enough. You don’t need a long, drawn-out reason. Some examples:

“I can’t make it tonight, but thanks for thinking of me!”

“I appreciate the offer, but I have to pass.”

“I’m not comfortable discussing that.”

Simple. Clear. No guilt necessary.

3. EVEN WHEN IT’S UNCOMFORTABLE, STICK TO YOUR BOUNDARIES

The hardest part? Holding the line. Katherine reminds readers that people who benefit from your weak boundaries won’t be happy when you start enforcing them. They might push back, guilt-trip you, or act like you’re being difficult.

But here’s the truth: people who love and respect you will adjust. And those who don’t? They probably relied on your lack of boundaries to begin with.

4. GIVE YOURSELF PERMISSION TO PUT YOU FIRST

A powerful takeaway from this book is that setting boundaries is not selfish—it’s self-care. You don’t exist just to make other people’s lives easier. You deserve to protect your time, energy, and emotions.

WHY THIS BOOK IS A MUST-READ

Katherine writes with warmth and compassion, making it easy to connect with her insights. She reassures readers that boundary-setting is a skill, one that takes time and practice. And the best part? Once you start setting boundaries, you’ll notice a shift:

You’ll feel lighter, because you’re no longer carrying everyone else’s emotional baggage.

You’ll feel more confident, knowing that your needs and limits matter.

You’ll attract healthier relationships with people who respect and appreciate you.

One reader put it perfectly:

"This book helped me realize that my discomfort wasn’t just in my head. It gave me the words I needed to say ‘no’ without guilt and recognize when someone was crossing a line I didn’t even know existed.”

FINAL THOUGHTS

If you’ve ever felt like you’re giving too much, struggling to say no, or feeling responsible for other people’s happiness, Boundaries: Where You End and I Begin is a great tool for your journey. Setting boundaries doesn’t mean you love people less, it means you love yourself enough to stop pouring from an empty cup.

So, here’s your reminder: It’s okay to say no. It’s okay to put yourself first. And it’s okay to take up space in your own life.